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© 2006 - present, Sabrina

translated by Dandelion

ABOUT SHADOWS AND LIGHT

Nightwish leader Tuomas Holopainen is among other things impatient, loyal and sensitive. The musician reveals in this interview his two faces, his virtues as well as his vices.

"I would describe myself as quiet, shy and emphatic. I can put myself in other person's boots. I'm sensitive. I cry easily when watching movies or listening to music - although not in public beacause it embarrasses me.
I'm loyal to my friends. I don't always have the time to keep in contact with my friends. With many of them I'm in touch rather monthly than weekly. I should have more time, especially to my closest relatives. My dad, my mom, my sister and brother have always been very close to me, I can tell them anything. My mom is even so good-hearted, that I don't always want to burden her with my worries."

UPON INSTINCT

" I try to be polite, cause rudeness is enormously irritating and easily ruins the atmosphere. With small acts yo can achieve good vibes for someone. I'm able to apologize and do realize when I've been wrong or made a mistake, in other words, I can take responsibility for my actions. The best phrase in the Bible is: do to others what yo want to be done to yourself.
I have many good friends, but only few soulmates. It's difficult to open up to new acquaintances, sometimes it feels downright impossible. Then again, I have in my life encountered some people to whom I've been able to tell everything the second time we met. And they have not disappointed me.
I couldn't imagine being with a person who doesn't like trekking or Disney's cartoons or wouldn't be able to use an outhouse. The woman of my dreams has natural values and she's not a motor mouth but a mystic girl next door."

CHRISTIAN UPBRINGING

"Money is a necessary evil and important for your peace of mind. I'm relieved knowing that I don't have to count every pot of cottage cheese I buy.
I'm not a heavy spender , but it's incredible how much money I use in movies, instead of renting I buy them. I surely have 700 movies, 100 of which I have not seen yet and another 200 are pure shit.
I enjoy silence, peace and taking a thermos and a tape recorder in the evening to the campfire. I also have my own bivouac (laavu) where I like to spend my time. I can easily spend many hours outdoors.
I also enjoy being on stage and the interaction with audience. It's a real group fun, when a thousand fans are singing their hearts out in the front row! At it's best performing is like a collective orgasm - and better than sex.
I'm happy about my family. I don't think I would be here where I am as a man or with my band without them. I have been raised up to have good manners: My upbringing was Christian but without forcing. My relatives have told me I was good already as a kid.
Last year many fantastic things took place. Two of them are equally good: band's success and the fact that after 30 years in my parents' care I finally moved into my own house."

LOW SELF-ESTEEM

"Coffee and cigarette are my vices. I must drink a litre of coffee a day, but smoking is seasonal. Sometimes at home I can be 5 days or a week without a smoke, I just don't feel like it. The again out with friends I can smoke two packs in an evening.
I'm impatient and if I decide something I want it now. I have a very low self-esteem. People say self-confidence is the sign of sexiness and charisma. In that case I must be the least sexy person there is! I always think about what other people do better than me. I don't know where this low self-esteem comes from. I had a happy childhood and I was never bullied either. Inspite of that I have never been very sure of myself.
Many a times I feel a storm inside, but in the last 10 years I have only lost my temper badly once, and it happened only couple of months ago. I'm not aggressive or yell, I just swallow it all red -faced. Eg. in the relationship I was in for years I did not raise my voice even once. I may sometimes say badly , but two hours later I regret it so much. I am appeased very easily.
I hate narrow-mindedness and intolerance. The fact that people don't look deeper than surface. I myself like to reflect on and contemplate matters exhaustively."

THE PRICE OF SUCCESS

"The band's running out of steam in November was very hard. The gang crumbled in our hands - and not just the band , but the whole personnel. We had to take the three months' break and it's magnificent to be on tour again for the next 7 months.
Touring is complicated when yo need to think is it really worth the mental and physical breakdown. But it's our job - and in every job you sometimes need to smell sweat and slime.
The most horrible year in my career was the year 2005. I still wouldn't do anything differently though. Unpleasant things are history and we needed to go them through in order to learn from it. I'm a sceptic with a capital S, but sometimes I have a feeling there is a higher force guiding us after all. Everything is really well and touring with Anette is at it's best the same it was with Tarja at it's best.
Success has cost me my privacy. Media has treated me well apart from very few shit stories. The worst thing is when they take pictures of my house. I have witnessed couple of times some creatures sneaking around my car park. It is disgusting and even creepy. You just have to learn to live with the media attention.
Also some friendships have come to an end and it feels shocking. Then again, people do grow apart. Being in a hurry and success are excuses to ending a relationship. Friendship never ends when it comes to a right person.